Archive for The Elder Scrolls Online

Took My Money, and Gave Me Crabs

Posted in MMORPG with tags , , on January 29, 2014 by theerivs

bar-refaeli-marks-spencer-lingerie-ads-valentine-s-day-redSo the The Elder Scrolls Online, or TESO for short. Has announced some pre-order collections, tell you the truth. I’m not impressed. Ok I’m not huge on this series, never really played the games. I found the UI tiresome, but I only played on Console. It was hard for me to get into for some reason, maybe because I didn’t like the UI.

First of all I’m not a huge fan of Collector’s Editions to begin with. Thanks to being burned on games like Star Trek Online, and Diablo III. Also I noticed something that irked me. You buy a collectors edition you get to play a certain race, wait if it’s subscription model only way I can get that race is to pay more money, I think that’s a little shitty. Not to mention the pet they give is a crab…really? A crab..fascinating…. Take my money.

Will I try this game out, I might but it’s not high on my meters as to games I’m looking forward too….Heck right now the only game I’m kind of curious about is Wildstar. Otherwise I’m just going to be an old curmudgeon until CU, or War 40K: Eternal Crusade comes out.

The Top 5 MMOs That WILL Change The Genre

Posted in MMORPG with tags , , , , , on March 28, 2013 by scarybooster

This is an extremely exciting year for MMOs. So many games are trying to break the boring WoW formula and push the genre forward. It seems like every year we think things are going to change and a revolutionary game is going to blow us away. What makes this year different? What do these 5 games have that other games don’t?

Lets take a look at the top 5 MMOs that will bring something new to the table.


1. Scarlet Blade:

If you like bouncing boobies and cartoon porn, this game is for you. Oh, and if you like playing a game with dudes, more dudes, and The Dudes, this game is for you. Even though this is an extremely sexist game by Western standards, it’s actually pretty fun to play. I like the bouncy boobie combat system. Not to mention it’s free to play.

Bottom line: If you have a little bit of time and you don’t mind lots and lots of giant, unrealistic breasts, this game is a treat. It’s a game where you can only play a female avatar and it’s not afraid to show it. You can even buy a way to remove all your clothes from the cash shop or be a founder. Who doesn’t want to run around killing vicious beasts with your tatas and vajayjay hanging out?


2. D&D Neverwinter:

This game has a lot going for it and the graphics is not one if them. If you love games from Cryptic, this is a no brainier to play. It has a little from every game on the market to make its own unique style. You’ll see similarities from Guild Wars 1, 2, Star Trek Online, TERA, and many more. The game takes a collage of crap from everywhere and makes a pretty fun game out of it.

Bottom line: The game is instances linked together by a main city (maybe more, I didn’t get past Neverwinter starter city). Again, the game is free to play with a non-intrusive cash shop. It’s not revolutionary, but it’s pretty damn fun.


3. Defiance:

This game is a 3rd person shooter MMO based on a TV show based on a game based on a TV show, based on… it’s a damn game with a TV show set in the same world. It comes from the creators of Rift. So you can expect the game to be fun, but “safe”. Don’t expect to be blown away with any feature or outstanding graphics. You can play it on Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and PC.

Bottom line: You buy the game, then pay for DLCs as they come. The graphics are a bit behind the curve even for console games, but once you get past the first 20 minutes of the game, it gets really fun. I could do without all the boring ass cut scenes in the beginning. That alone will put a lot of people off to start with. Just bite on a horse bit and get through it. That game gets better I promise.


4. Wildstar:

It looks like WoW, but it’s not WoW. They slap on the humor pretty thick for their marketing. At this point it’s not sure what model the will use. You’ll have to buy the game, but beyond that, it’s a bit too early. Beta sign ups just opened, but you can’t sign up. I really want to play this and the more people that sign up, the less chance I have. STAY AWAY IT’S MINE!

Bottom line: Housing up the ass! 20 and 40 man raids! A cutesy hybrid human-bunny race you just want to kill over and over! And it looks like WoW! All you WoW nerds will appreciate that. The only real bad thing that’s been circulating around after PAX East is the stagnant AI. I’m hoping they cattle prod the mobs and get them patrolling a lot more. I really dislike the feeling mobs are waiting to die like practice dummies.


5. The Elder Scrolls Online:

At first they were not going to have first person combat, but the fans screamed at the top of their keyboards to get it. There will now be first person combat just like Skyrim. In the beginning of Zenimax’s press releases the seemed like closed-minded douchebags, but it seems they’ve swallowed their pride and changed a few things. I guess we’ll see if they repeat EA/BioWare’s “we know best” reign.

Bottom line: The first wave of beta invites just went out. Lately the press has had their go at the game and they’ve all come away with great praise. I remember this same thing happening with SWTOR. You can’t trust those fanboy-press people. I’ll only believe it when I see it for myself and I am NOT buying the CE. River will though. He likes buying CEs for crappy games.

So that’s that! The 5 most wanted MMOs of 2013 that will change the genre forever. When I say forever, I mean until we really play them and discover they are the same shit different game.