SWTOR CE Rumors Debunked!

I had a totally different post ready for today, but there is a bunch of crazy news about SWTOR CE preorders going around. Because River is still on vacation, I have to fill his smart ass shoes today.

How many of you are interested in buying the SWTOR collector’s edition, raise your hand. Man, I know I just got some nerd to raise his hand in the office. Yeah dude, that is a perfect place for a Stick Up. There are a whole bunch of people waiting for this title to pass or fail in today’s MMO market.

I wanted to take the time to talk about some of the rumors floating around the Internet right now. I might debunk the rumor or rage on it. I just want all of HLL lovers to know the truth as I see it. We all know my truth is right and everybody else is wrong.

Take a peek at the future of MMO idiocy:

1. The CE is rumored to cost €150 or $220 converted. The truth is, the Europeans have always been screwed when it comes to pricing. Did you know they pay $10 a gallon for gas? Talk about bending over and shoving the pump deep in your ass. I’m sure the CE will cost about €150 for them. On the other hand, I don’t see EA charging Americans $220 for it. We would whine, poop our diapers, and demand it to be less till be got our pacifiers. They will do pure moron math and charge us $150 + or – $1,000.

2. The leaked photo-

All I have to say is, photos don’t lie. That is what you are getting and no Photoshop expert can deny it. I’m just saying, if that is fake where the hell did they get the fake Darth Dude? Yeah, it’s real. The only debate is the downloadable content. I’m sure the training Droid will just stare at you and toss a dog bone up in the air from time to time. This rumor is debunked as being true. Where is my damn Mythbusters stamp?

3. One lucky preorder customer is rumored to have a golden ticket in their box. That ticket can be redeemed to have sex with Carrie Fisher… I hope you win. I’d rather bend C3PO over.

4. It is rumored, all preorders will be exclusive to EA’s Origins crap website. Also, there are only 500,000 guaranteed preorders. Somebody needs to punch EA CEO in the man-nuggets. Seriously, they are pigeon-holing (or is it pigeon holding?) themselves. Some greedy idiot thinks they should funnel all the preorders through an unstable, glitchy, POS, website just out of beta? Remember when SWTOR announced they were open for beta sign ups? Yeah, that crashed their servers for more than 24 hours. These overzealous morons think everything is rainbows and ponies! I can’t wait to see this cluster tomorrow.

5. And my final rumor is the official announcement of this CE and the start of preordering tomorrow. Yeah, this is true. When the San Diego (means whale’s vagina in German) Comic Con, SWTOR panel opens up tomorrow, they will start the preorders. See #4 for for the humor in this. I bet all of BioWare has Tee-shirts with arrows pointing toward the CEO saying, “I am not with this idiot!”

That sums up my list. I’m very gullible so I’m sure all these rumors are true. Let’s just hope Carrie lubed up for some action, because EA is going to take a pounding with this idiocy over the next few days.

This message has been brought to you by me, Scarybooster (psst… That is a link to my new blog post. It is an interview with Sanya Weathers of Pitchblack Games. She talks about their upcoming 3 faction, Sci-Fi, PvP, MMO game Prime Battle for Dominus).

8 Responses to “SWTOR CE Rumors Debunked!”

  1. Man, I’d totally do C3PO. He’s so subservient (not to mention very camp) that I’m sure he’d do absolutley anything you asked him. The voice would get annoying but that’s nothing a pair of pliers and a hammer wouldn’t fix. Ya, sure, what the hell. Chuck a couple sticky buns on the side of his head and you wouldn’t know it’s NOT Carrie Fisher anyway.

    • scarybooster Says:

      Now that you put it that way, I could use that golden ticket as long as Carrie let me scream C3POs name in a passionate climax.

  2. It’s pigeon-holing, but I am not sure it applies here! 😛

    • scarybooster Says:

      Sure it does. I have a dictionary right here. Let me see:

      Pigeon-holing: the act of taking a pigeon and ramming him in a small hole until he dies a bloody death and sprays poop all over you.

      Yup fits 🙂

  3. I don’t think my comments are going through River…

  4. theerivs Says:

    Yea I’m probably going to repeat my STO mistake and get this CE. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.

  5. I’m fine with Carrie Fisher.

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