Real Life vs WoW Life

A few years ago I worked at a women’s retail clothing store in the mall.  After 7 months on the job they promoted me to Assistant Manager and man, was I high on that power.  I had the ability to MAKE ADJUSTMENTS TO THE TIME CLOCK…. what now bitches!?  My annual bonuses were based upon a few factors including: inventory, sales, hiring and associate retention and loss prevention. 

My best friend “Karen” was desperately looking for extra money around the holidays.  She had worked retail before and so I stuck my neck out for her.  We hired her on.  As the shopping days til Christmas began to dwindle we found ourselves increasingly more busy, with Saturdays typically being our busiest days of the week.  On the first Saturday in Decemeber “Karen” called in an hour before her shift started and stated she had a flat tire and was not going to be able to come in.  I thought “wow, that’s unlucky” and we made due with the associates that we had.  The next week, she called in Friday night to inform us that her Grandmother had gotten suddenly ill and she had to make an emergency trip to Kansas (where she lived) to visit and be with her.  I remember wondering why I had never heard of Granny before.  Then, on the sixth day of Christmas my “Karen” gave to me: Another freakin’ call-in.  Based on her attendance, on her next shift that she actually showed up to she received her final written notice and promptly quit. 

I was furious.  Not only did I miss out on about $250 worth of additional bonus due to her behavior, I was embarassed in front of my colleagues and my bosses.  I stopped returning her phone calls, started hanging out more often with a different group of friends and finally straight out told her I didn’t want to be her friend anymore.  Honestly, if she had just apologized it might have been ok.  We may not have been as close anymore, but I wouldn’t have been left with such a nasty taste in my mouth about her.

To add to the drama, I received a phone call several years later from a local marketing company looking to get a reference of a former employee of mine.  Guess who it was for?  I couldn’t believe she actually had the balls to put me down as a reference after fucking me over. 


A post from Jong over at Forbearance a couple weeks ago got me thinking about this.  I would link the specific post here but as i’m sure you all know he tends to get a little trigger happy with his “delete post” button and when I’ve gone back to try and find the sweet scripture he spoke it appears to be in deletion land.  Basically he talked about what it would be like if he invited a real life friend to come and play WoW with him.  It was funny and hilarious… but now it is gone.

Anywho… for my reasons stated above, and Jong’s that are stated somewhere in the black hole of the interwebs, I don’t think I’d ever recruit a real life friend of mine to start playing WoW.  If, by some chance, someone I knew wanted to start playing WoW I would not tell them what server I am on, and I most definitely would not invite them to my guild. 

I like to keep my WoW life and my Real life seperate (for the most part).  I know when my Rogue friend in my current guild stuck his neck out for me and got me an invite, he was taking a chance.  But what would have really happened if I had sucked?  Booted from the guild?  Placed on ignore??  Problem solved.  If I invite a “Karen” to my guild and she never shows up to raids, ninjas loot and is just downright rude it reflects badly on me.  And if the guild kicks her out then she may resent me for these decisions.

15 Responses to “Real Life vs WoW Life”

  1. I think both issues boils down to trust. I would rather trust someone, and get burned…then not trust anyone at all.

    I would be THRILLED if one of my real life friends wanted to play, I would give them my amassed wisdom…then their head would explode.

    For several years, I was in the awesomest situation. I worked for FTD, and the Tech group there all played WoW together in the same guild. We all became friends, partied together, WoWed together…etc.. IT was awesome. Real life, and WoW life blended

    • I wonder if it would be better if you had a friend that had never played before vs a friend that is familar with WoW? Meaning, if you invited your WoW-virgin friend you could sort of train him to play in a way that would fit in with your playstyle and your guild’s playstyle. If you had a friend that already had played, and ended up being king dumbass of trade chat mountain, well… that’s what I’m afraid of right there.

  2. I’ve had it work out both ways. My RL best friend server xferred to join my guild and we were both quite nervous as to how it would work out. It worked out just fine 🙂

    That said, a blogger friend was brought in and basically began to criticize everything the guild and my team did. They left before anything was said, but it left a bad taste in my mouth as well as my guildies.

    • I actually invited a friend at work to start playing (he said he had played before even though he named his druid “Shockman”) – (I mean that’s a Shaman name if I ever heard one)…. anyways, he was playing up a storm the first weekend he subbed and by the time I logged in to play with him he had already joined a guild and was leveling up with them. It actually worked out quite nicely, we could play together sometimes but I didn’t feel obligated to run him through things… though I did. I also, with no real druid knowledge, helped get him out of spirit and intellect gear for his feral leveling. 🙂

  3. Legolas4Life Says:

    So, in all of your previous dealings with “Karen” and prior to vouching the job for her, you never saw anything in her behavior that would have given you a clue as to how she would act? I ask because you referred to her as your best friend at the time. It seems logical that you would know enough about her to gauge whether or not she would be reliable. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not placing the blame on you. Just, that it seems more likely that you knew what she was about and decided to give her a pass. Then, in the end, of course, she burned you for it.

    • “Karen” did have some personal issues that I was not particularly found of. To put it bluntly she was a bit of a skank. She did leave me at a party one night to go home with some dude and I had to get a ride home with someone else. That is really the only time I can think of (before this work incident) where she had been unreliable. It really was a huge surprise to me when she did not perform at work as I had suspected.

  4. I think knowing when to trust and when not to trust is something that only comes with experience and reflection. One of the few things I love about getting older is that it gets a lot easier to see people’s character flaws.

    As for IRL friends in WoW, I keep hearing horror stories, but I’ve never had any problems. I play casually with a few of my classmates and the effect has been great. I’m really shy, like REALLY shy, so bonding with them in game has brought me a lot closer to them irl.

    Another time I convinced a then-boyfriend to play. He was a lot more outgoing than I, so he quickly made friends with the people who ended up being my guildies and dear in-game friends for the next two years. Because we were constantly working as a team in game, playing and raiding together made our relationship stronger. And when we eventually broke up (he graduated and was moving away and neither of us wanted to pursue a distance relationship), the fact that we were such good teammates made the breakup relatively painless and dramaless.

    I also dragged my best friend irl into the game. We met when I was an exchange student, so we live on separate sides of the continent. Gaming was both something we had in common and was the ideal way to keep in touch. Best idea ever! He’s not into raiding, but we spend a lot of time together questing or farming or doing heroics.

    So despite all the crazy stuff you hear, I think that as long as your friends have a certain level of maturity and you’re able to accept the fact that you might not have the same playstyle, bringing them in to WoW can be a great experience.

    • As I read some comments (especially yours) I’m starting to rethink my ultimatium here to never invite a real life friend. I suppose it could be a positive thing (given the right friend of course).

      I think I just get enough friendship in-game from the people that I have met in-game. Also, I don’t have any RL friends that are interested in starting up gaming. I do have some friends that game (and have been exposed to WoW in the past, I would say around 5) all of them have unsubscribed over the last year and a half. I would say that they may resubscribe as cataclysm comes along. It might add an interesting dymanic. I will definitely be giving my guild first priority of my healing services, but I don’t want to shun RL friends by doing so.

      Hmmm… might make another interesting blog post… 🙂

      • Oh yeah, my raiding schedule and guild always come first in game. I guess how easily that goes over depends on the kind of attitude your friends have towards playing together. My RL friends and I have always been of the “oh we’re all online right now and doing the same thing, lets do that thing together” mentality and it works for us. Or if we don’t feel like doing the same thing and none of us are in a raid, we’ll just sit in vent and talk about the game as we play separately.

  5. I really have to get better at reading the author lines on the posts here – the whole time I read this I’m thinking “Rivs worked at a Women’s Clothing Store? That’s really odd.”

    Sorry, Bee. 😀

  6. i server transferred most of my toons to join a friends guild. now, im not crazy, i didnt do it all at once, but i did it none the less. i leveled my 2nd 80 with this friend and had much fun doing this. i raided with the guild even though the way it was run drove me nuts.

    see, the guild i was in before this was always very organized, they were good at doing what they needed to do in raids, showed up on time, had their own flasks and reagents… all that stuff you hope for when you have to PUG a spot in a raid. this new guild really tried to be all of these things. in the year i was with them we NEVER started a raid on time. we never had a full guild run because people always didnt show up. we were stuck on patchwork (yes, patchwork, a boss i had already passed on my previous server) for what seemed like forever. we never finished ulduar. finally after toc came out and they couldnt get past faction champs on a regular basis i left.

    i joined a different guild where i knew no one and it was great. unfortunately, my schedule did not permit me to stay with them and i reluctantly returned to the friends guild a few months later. 2 months later this guild fell apart. completely. i am pretty sure my dramatic exit after being called a slut had a lot to do with it.(jokingly, not jokingly, i will never know. it was posted in the guild notes and no one ever sucked it up and admited that it was them that posted it. i wrote an exit novel on the guild website and lost a few “friends” in the process.)

    so TL;DR sum up… i would NEVER try to mix RL and WoW again. i am happy with my virtual friends and knowing them IRL just causes drama. I dont even play with my husband. I am still friends with the cause of all of this… 😀

  7. […] I found it fascinating the secret life of female gamers.  and there unique set of issues. […]

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