I want to clear the air..

I think Larissa removed me from her blogroll, perhaps it is an error, or oversight. Perhaps it’s something I said, which is most likely the case.

I think I need to explain some things I do.

A. I don’t hate women –  What I am guilty of is being old fashioned, growing up I fashioned myself a knight, and view women as something to be protected, and woo’d. I believe a man should be someone who sticks to his ideals, and his responsibilities. When my stepfather had a stroke, my handicapped mother asked me to move. I put my life on hold, and did so, because I loved her. Why do I love her, and make that sacrifice for her. Because she worked her ass off at a Greek restaurant to put clothes on my back, and food in my belly. She went without, so I can go with. I am very proud of her, she went back to school, and got her nursing diploma, and even worked as a midnight nurse in a bad part of town, (she packed heat, lol).  She fought cancer, and so far is winning. If I am tough, it is because of her, not my father.

Now that being said, I may joke with women, and stereotypes, and I have the ability to laugh at myself, and poke fun at myself and my actions. Yes I am hopelessly male, I never, ever stopped to ask directions. Hell I’ll wait to the sun come up to figure out where I’m going if I had to.  Though we our all different, we should celebrate those differences, and be able to realize despite our minor differences we are all the same, and want the same thing….hot, sweaty, awesome sex.  

B. I don’t hate Role-players – I just don’t understand them, I don’t get them. That is ignorance on my part, I have yet to someone to take me seriously to task what is so great about it.

C. I don’t hate Metaneria or Anna – Quite the opposite, I respect them as being leaders of their factions (for lack of a better term), I don’t have to like them to respect them though. I don’t hate them either, I think they have blinders on, and can’t see the forest despite the trees. I would love to discuss things with them, but they attack, so I attack with a viciousness that belies hatred, which isn’t true. I am just cruel in my execution sometimes.

D. I do loathe fanatics of any sort – They are blind, and foolish. They make my skin crawl because they are blinded by what they adore to the point of seeing no other side.

E. I am not the brightest crayon in the box– I never claim to be. Tell you the truth, about 17 years ago I was sitting in a jail, pondering my life. I crawled from the muck of my own ruin, I got my college degree, fought tooth and nail to get what I have today. I don’t pretend to be some high english scholar. I am just me, and here and on my blogs I am what I am, but you’ll always get honesty from me, of who I am, and how I feel.  

So go ahead judge me if you want, that’s part of being a blogger to stand up to the whole world and go here I am, and here’s what I think right or wrong.  It’s just I respect and like Larissa alot, and it would hurt me greatly if I loss her respect.

14 Responses to “I want to clear the air..”

  1. I think the problem is that while you have your way of looking at things, you definitely come back with invective when I don’t think people were attacking you in the first place. I know that being a feminist means dealing with people attacking you with words (or in some cases, fists or otherwise) all the time, even in ways they don’t intend. So trying to ask people to be polite against such things that make us (or anyone who’s marginalized) feel upset or hurt or angry is unfair.

    It’s not easy being a woman sometimes, and being called fanatical does hurt. It hurts and it stings and it doesn’t feel respectful at all. I don’t hate all men either, and I don’t think the problems of the world are just a man’s fault, just as you don’t hate women. However, the world is constructed by the powerful and there’s just subtle things afoot that make other people’s lives miserable. I respect men enough to want a world where everyone (man, woman, all races, people with disabilities, transgender/gay people) can feel comfortable with themselves and not have to deal with that miserableness. That means making concessions on how we act towards others as we work towards this – using different language, being respectful to other’s feelings, understanding that we are not the only ones here. Hell, I do it every day – I don’t presume to know what it feels like to be a minority, or have physical disabilities or to be a transgendered person. I know that the world is cruel to them too, and I have to learn to be respectful. Even as a woman. Even as a feminist.

    it is a responsibility everyone has to shoulder. It is a demanding critical lens but I don’t think it is unreasonable to shape the parts of the world we CAN control (as women or minorities or etc.) as we see fit. There’s a place for everyone in my world, I only ask to not be called a fascist or a Nazi because those are hurtful things too.

    I think you have intellect, but having people argue with you and butt up against your worldview is going to make a lot of things occur. Either you can get angry and mean about it or you can educate yourself.

    • theerivs Says:

      This is the problem, you think women have it so bad. I think no one has it “easy”. We all have our challenges. You think there is privledge, There isn’t. Even the rich have their own problems, rich powerful men have their own set of problems.

      I am a humanist, I beleive that this coil called life no matter who you are has problems, rocks, tribulations, just because your a women doesn’t exempt you for that. Do I wish women got equal pay for equal work sure, do I wish black men weren’t profiled, definately, but you know what I could go through my life, and my troubles, and to me I’m just happy I have a job.

      You women at Empowered Fire held me and my blog up to your readers going “This is why”, as if I’m part of the problem, without even discussing it with me, or coming to me first. So I viewed it as an attack. Coming from the background I come from you attack, I attack harder. It’s the animalistic underworld I come from, I grew up in. Like a dog, you whip me, I bite back.

      Is it right? no it isn’t but it’s who I am.

  2. I guess I disagree in that humanism works if the problems weren’t so disparate to begin with.

    No, I don’t agree that any has it easy. However, there’s a lot of problems that could be solved if the world didn’t treat certain kinds of people so badly and across the board.

    I just don’t understand how anyone could feel good about themselves knowing that there’s things they could be doing to make it better for others.

    Your thinking and way of behaving is part of the problem though and until you understand why it bothers me (or anyone) really, rather than being upset about it or apologizing, it’s going to continue to be like that.

    Have a good day.

  3. Hey, female here *waves*.

    If women have it so bad, then take a look at couples with children who break up for some reason or another. Why, when my mum had stillborn babies, did everybody ask HER how she was doing and not my dad? Why, when I was 7 and my parents split, was everything so skewed in favour of women? If it went to court my mum would have had custody, purely because she’s not a drug addict, does that mean it would have been better for me? Hell no. Luckily they worked that out between them because I wanted to stay with my dad. Why when my dad had to work and was trying to get help looking after me was he denied a nanny on the premise that he was a man? Not to mention many other things about child support and so on. Women have problems sure. They sure as hell aren’t the only ones.

    • theerivs Says:

      Here, Here…I think we all have problems, what makes your subset of problems better/worse than mine? I think until we ALL start treating each other better, it’s not going to get better.

      But a part of me doesn’t think that’s going to happen.

      • I agree with that part of you.. that’s just life sadly. Better to just get on with it and try to keep on smiling, else life really does become a big old ball of suck.

    • And feminists care about all of those issues. Any sort of discrimination based on gender is bad. We care about a woman’s right to choose and we care about men being able to get custody. The current system is BAD FOR EVERYONE. EVERYONE. It’s bad that only men get drafted. It’s bad that we teach women how to protect themselves from getting raped but we don’t teach men that no means no. It’s bad that men get mocked for doing anything society considers “feminine”: taking care of kids or knitting or whatever. The status quo is bad for everyone. We just call ourselves feminists because, on the whole, women get the shorter end of the stick.

      I’m white, I’m heterosexual, I’m cisgendered, I’m able-bodied. There are lots of people who suffer more discrimination than I do, and that sucks. And I’m trying to recognize where I have unfair advantages and how I can educate people to even the playing field. Whether I do that in a website about a video game or in a letter to my senator… it helps a tiny bit.

      • theerivs Says:

        HEY HEY HEY…who said you can post on my blog…..I’m so editing it to make me look awesome!

        Just kidding.

      • And that’s fine. A lot of feminists aren’t idiots about their beliefs, but as usual there’s a small minority who will take it too far, to the point that they’ll shut off about any other issues. A smaller minority take it so far, that in their attempts to get women equal rights, they begin to treat men with disrespect.

  4. < Woman.

    I don't have a problem with Rivs, his actions, his words, or his beliefs.

    Rivs is just the sort of person I would hang out with. Wish I had been in Tinley the other weekend, I'm sure I missed a good time. Keep it up.

  5. What I don’t understand is, why do people who call themselves feminists or pro black or gay or what ever they are supporting, Why are there always a select few who approach the subject with zero understanding past there own ideals and more importantly with zero humour.

    Ok story time.

    During the late 30s to 40s, even when he was fighting for the British during the second world war, he was the focus of a lot of anti Italian racism, people believing that they were in league with the Germans, that they were Nazis, they thought they were scum. My Grandfather Lucky enough to have a British pass port fought in the Welsh guard during the second world war, he lost 3 of his close family members including a brother in the battles, he was present during the Normandy beach landing. When he returned home, to a small Welsh town, he was branded an Itai, Scum. He had to deal, and try to survive with people thinking he was a nazi, he was a member of the fascist.

    So why when he sadly died in 2004, was a humble shop owners funeral attended by over 300 people?

    Because he could fucking laugh it off that’s why, because he has the insight to know when people were joking and when they were being racist he could fight without closing his heart to people who made comments without hatred.

    I can’t understand why someone could get offended by a phrase like “whorelock” then get insulted when someone call’s them fanatical? How exactly does that work. Attacking someone like the OP for stupid things like that is not active feminism, Its doing a lot more harm than good. If he was spouting WBC* style Women cant raid shite, then by all means tear him a new one.

    Hell do you know how bored I’d get if I took offence to everyone who made Sheep shagging jokes aimed at me (Im welsh), I’ve delt with honest Racism, I’ve been in the childcare System, so I’ve delt with anti male Sexism.

    Acting mightier than thou is not the way to gain EQUAL rights. It’s the way to make 90% of the people who do need to change sted there belief.


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