Don’t get your panties in a wad!

I read this, and I was going to comment…but of course I am a blogger and way to long-winded on this subject for a mere comment.

Does she have a right to be offended. Yes. You can’t help what a person feels. But as one who is usually the offending party. I thought I would explain some things.

1. Maybe you need to be offended – Sometimes we get into this little comfortable box of ours, and we don’t want the boat rocked, but sometimes someone comes along and says something over the top, and it makes us think. Whoa….think? What’s that word?

2. Are you having an emotional response, or a logical one – Did he hurt your feelings? Awwww. Or are you aware that his statement was spoken out of ignorance, and stupidity. Maybe he needs to be taught a lesson.

3, Stereotypes don’t just fall out of the sky – Yes there are some gross, and bad generalizations, but sometimes there lies a kernal of truth. It’s up to you to break the mold.

Ok I’m gonna give you some tips on how to beat an idiot….like myself. Now these are very situational, you might have to pick and choose what is right for the situation.

1. Make me feel bad – Yes I do have a conscience, and if you say nicely, “You really hurt my feelings on that, how could you say that.”  I might actually say I’m sorry.

2. Knowledge – Nothing shuts me up quicker than the truth. You smack me down hard enough with it, you won’t hear from me for at least ….an hour.  A great quote from William Blake is “A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.”

3. A Gang Up – When one or more gang up on me, I might retreat to higher ground.

4. Ignore – Nothing pisses an attention whore like myself then someone ignoring me. Fight me, yell at me, scratch my eyes out. I don’t care, but just don’t ignore me.

If I know I’m a jerk, and what I’m doing is sexist, hurtful, or just plain ignorant, why do I do it? Why do I seek to cross the boundaries of good taste sometimes?  The answer is simple, The Devil makes me do it. 🙂

Bottomline alot of poor behavior on the internet is because simply we can get away with it. If you show the person involved they can’t get away with it, they may conform, and might learn a lesson as well.

12 Responses to “Don’t get your panties in a wad!”

  1. I agree that ignorant behaviour on the internet continues because it’s allowed and no one challenges it.

    On the other hand, when a woman challenges a man about his sexist beliefs, its usually met with some “LOL, see whut I mean, why are you such a bitch” bullshit. Getting mad about sexist comments is seen as reinforcement that women blow things out of proportion.

  2. Interesting perspective on it. Think you missed what Ophelie was gunning at on a few points (then again, I’m female and in the same guild as her, so maybe I have a closer/different perspective), but your points are valid.

    I actually don’t think the guy has been that bad, at least not when I’ve been online. (or maybe I’m just not paying attention to him… not sure i’ve actually gotten to raid with him, now that i think about it.)

    • Actually, Ash, you’re kind of the one missing my point. In my post, I talked about a specific example, but the example is just that: an example. An example just makes a post easier to write and relate too, but it’s actually a reflection on something much, much larger. The specific guy in question doesn’t matter, he just adds a context to the discussion.

      I don’t write to vent, I write to reflect. It’s very different.

  3. Am i bad for laughin at the original joke?

    Didnt read all the comments as there was too much ganging up and emo talk.

    Some people need to wind their necks in and accept that they may be offended far too easily

  4. Omg, shopping for underpants!!!

    I’m sorry, you were saying something, Rivs? Shopping!!!

  5. Good post Rivs! :thumbs up:

    …I can’t think of anything to add.

  6. /drools over rebuttal

    Crap now I forgot what I wanted to actually say…

    Oh yeah…we had a guy like that in our guild before. He was horrible to all the women…said we were only their because we were hiding behind our men who also raided (which is not true because each of us carried our weight fairly) and never had a kind word to say about women in general. The GL kept saying he was joking, he would talk to him etc etc. Finally all the women (who were officers) got together and voted him off the island so to speak…luckily the GL actually accepted our vote and asked him to leave. I mean it was getting to the point where people weren’t showing up to raid with him…it was really bad…

    • I’ve raided in one of those guilds before. It’s poisonous–“you only got invited because you’re a girl” “you’re only here because you flirt with people” “you only get epics because you’re cybering the loot master” etc. Allowed to spew long enough, one person’s opinion becomes the opinion spouted to the new recruits becomes a major guild issue (female raiders being attacked by the male raiders that think they don’t deserve a spot but flounder when they aren’t around)… and on a small enough realm it can actually become a realm-wide issue as drama gets blown wide open on the realm forums and people start getting personal with the attacks.

      (I’m glad your GL listened to y’all when you booted the guy off the island though.)

      • Try being a female GL where everyone assumes that your decisions are being controlled by various guys in the guild because a female can’t think for herself… evar.

        Regardless, thanks for the lulz Riv.

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