I am that Jerk!

I see all my fellow bloggers posting about Jerks, whether they are tanks, dps, or even healers. I was thinking who will speak for the Jerks, the Asshats, or even the douchebags. Me that’s who. I will be the Lorax of the Douchebags!

Tank Jerks –

Listen I’m the boss. I will pull the whole room, and either you keep up, or go cry to your mommy. I’m sick of you screaming that you can’t heal through 10 elite mobs. If you can’t keep up, as a healer you should delete your toon, and go play Hello Kitty Online. As for DPS, hey I don’t care if I got my dps gear on, and I’m not even spec to tank, you better ease up on the dps so I can keep aggro, and if you pull aggro you are all bunch of fail.  Don’t like the way I do things, tough!

Healer Asshats-

What the hell is your problem dude. I was watching something on TV, I wasn’t even close to ready, and you go and pull more then one mob. Seriously you fricking jagwad. Hey if the dps would get off their ass and kill something maybe I wouldn’t have to be working so hard. GET THE MOB OFF ME FOR CHRIST”S SAKE!!! No I will not fade, I shouldn’t have to, I didn’t even put it on my action bars. What you mean I should get out of Shadowform?

DPS Douchebags

KILL THE SKULL NOW NOW NOW! I died, fuck you all I’m outta here.

10 Responses to “I am that Jerk!”

  1. Very funny, and very true. It is always someone blaming someone else. I have heard all that so many times I just started cracking up. I blame the DPS meters.

  2. Humm.. Interesting. But the little part about the skull you want dead makes me wonder if you really are (would be) that jerk.
    Now, don’t get me wrong – i have complained about jerks in lfg as well (and will again, dammit), but some things are difficult to excuse.
    In the end, what irks me most about the whole thing is the complete lack of communication. Everyone assumes that everyone else is knowing exactly how is done on .

    About meters and performance – thing is, you can level up to 80 without giving a damn about your performance, and then start optimizing your talents / gear for output. And most people i have seen level up did exactly that. And i actually understand that well. Why spend the time to optimize things you won’t be using for more than 2 days ?

    • ok.. the posting function messed with me.. the one sentence has to read :
      Everyone assumes that everyone else knows exactly how “insert any task here” is done on “insert any location here”.

  3. I am Lothar, of the Hill People!

  4. Also, I was always the Tank jerk. I hated people who couldn’t keep up in EQ2 – SKs chain pulling groups FTW. In WAR, healers who can’t keep up with me frustrate more than anything else. I didn’t go out of line of site, you just didn’t keep up!

  5. lmao…love this post.

    I especially liked the healing one.

    “Watching something on TV…”

    lol..classic

  6. I R Rogue! I changed the name of my Rogue to Pooboy because Rogues are shit on when they join a group. 5 years ago when I started playing a Rogue it was for fun. Then morons played Rogues. Now I have a shitty name because of them. I have an 80 Priest and 80 Shaman too, but I love playing my Rogue because it’s time for me to spatter back. I R da Jerk!

  7. You forgot “sry i missed that battle-rez on the raid boss, I was playing bejeweled”

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